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Nicodemus

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Telecrapper2000 [Sep. 13th, 2005|01:21 pm]
Nicodemus
What's the best way to get rid of telemarketers who ignore your Do Not Call requests? Occupy their time so that you slow down their business and make them feel stupid!

Telecrapper 2000 to the rescue! This homebrew, open-source system hooks a computer up to a phone on an extension in your house. Based on caller ID (or lack of it) versus a user-specified black list, it determines when it should answer the phone for you.

It then goes through a scripted series of custom audio recordings, pausing after each one to allow the telemarketer to talk. The goal is to draw the hapless telemarketer into an endless incoherent conversation. The computer keeps a recording of both halves of the resultant call for your personal amusement.

Try the Is This Chris? conversation.
Or maybe the Rambling Grandpa will snare them!
How about the Hip Hurts sidetracking ploy? That recording even had a Flash version made for it.

Fun for the whole family!* You know you want one. (I sure do!)



Special thanks to rigelkitty for posting this gem.
* Except families containing telemarketers.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: thump
2005-09-13 09:11 pm (UTC)
Awesome! My whole office are laughing their asses off :)
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[User Picture]From: furahi
2005-09-13 11:21 pm (UTC)
LOL ^^
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[User Picture]From: patch_bunny
2005-09-13 11:55 pm (UTC)
Hmm... I know what to get you for the Holidays: this device, and your number on every marketing list there is. You'll have hours of fun! Hours, and hours, and hours, and hours....
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[User Picture]From: witchofnovember
2005-09-14 02:51 am (UTC)
Fun for the whole family!* You know you want one. (I sure do!)

*like yours?
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2005-09-14 04:26 pm (UTC)
You, at least, have an actual good cause (i.e. not selling or polling) and enough sense to recognize a recorded loop. :) So, yeah, I don't think of your job as telemarketing.
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[User Picture]From: witchofnovember
2005-09-14 06:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, what I do is more like telebegging.
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