Pluto goes ballistic - One part of being a character performer is that you can never ever ever do this. No matter what the kid might've done to deserve it. Bad dog.
Oregon Duck Beats Up Houston Cougar - Maybe it's more acceptable if it's sports mascots? This is still crossing the line and can't be fun publicity for either of the teams involved. Bad duck.
Do Not Put Snakes In Your Mouth - A man was bitten after shoving a rattlesnake in his mouth. As Samuel L. Jackson would say: Motherf***ing snakes on a motherf***ing tongue. In a burst of honesty, the man said, "You can assume alcohol was involved."
Do Not Rob Karate Schools - When picking stick-up targets, do not go for that place with all the people gathered together practicing how to beat on bad guys. Can we assume alcohol (or other drugs) were involved here?
Do Not Rob Police Training Grounds - When picking a place for a robbery, do not choose the warehouse that's being used to train police dogs. I've been to Antioch and I know it's not exciting, but there have to be better ways to get your kicks.
Fighting Dirty for Denture-Wearers - If you're in a fight, you can try to disarm your opponent. But grabbing their false teeth out of their mouth is not generally how it's done. The police charge: robbery.