February 13th, 2004

Nicodemus

Riggs Rule of Favorable Flavors

I've long been suspicious of the flavorings in manufactured foods. Usually it's the ones that try to flavor themselves as something unusual that are the most repulsive. (Don't even get me started on turkey sodas.) This has lead me to suggest

The Riggs Rule of Favorable Flavors:
The palatability of a product's flavor is based on whether the labeling adjectives used describe a natural taste versus another prepared food or dish.


For example, if you find cereal labelled as "cinnamon" flavor, it's probably okay. Cereal with a "cinnamon toast" flavor has named another food that it's trying to immitate and is thus more likely to be undesirable. If they get vague enough to say "french toast", it's probably inedible. The more of these adjectives they stack on, the more cautious you should be.

Toaster pastries are another good example. "Strawberry" or even "berry" is likely better than "strawberry jam". That extra word is their marketing department saying "Well, it doesn't quite taste right for strawberries..." And if you see something that isn't an identifiable food term, like "Spaztacular Berry!", just put the box down and back away slowly.
  • Current Mood
    mislabeled