July 30th, 2005

Homestar: Cool

Poems Past

I was just in the garage and dug out an old book of mine. It's a generally unremarkable book from the "young adult" or "juvenile fiction" or "whatever they're calling them whippersnappers these days" section called A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag by Gordon Korman. (No, really, that's the title.)

Most of the book is rather forgettable. But the gems are the assorted absurd poems. You see, Collapse )

So the upshot is that the book contains a handful poems that are both enchanting and absurdly bad. Which in a way, makes them good, I suppose. Whatever their merits, I have always remembered the dang one about consomme. And now I get to share it with you! :>


Registration Day by Gavin Gunhold (Gordon Korman)
On registration day at taxidermy school,
I distinctly saw the eyes of the stuffed moose
Move.


The Bargain by Gavin Gunhold (Gordon Korman)
After the hair tonic salesman's toupee fell off,
He decided to lower the price.
So I bought six cases.
A bargain is a bargain.


Industrial Secret by Gavin Gunhold (Gordon Korman)
The oil companies don't want you to know
That the average car will run on
Consomme,
If you can figure out a way
To get the parsley out of the carburetor.
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