August 11th, 2005

Nicodemus

Diablo NPC Conversation

(Somewhere in the wilderness of Diablo II, some small scruffy monsters are talking...)

Gash, the Dark Chief: Okay, guys, listen up. I hear that there's some "heroes" running around the wilderness.
Grunt, a Dark One: Oi! Let's smash them!
Gash: My thoughts exactly. Now, here's the plan. When they show up, I want you to rush right at them --
Grunt: And attack them?
Gash: NO! That'd be no good. They need to know who they're dealing with! I want you to run up to them. Stop right in front of them and yell the name of our glorious leader --
Assembled Dark Ones: Rakanishu!
Gash: Exactly. Be sure to stand there and shout it, even if they poke you with swords.
Squunch, a Dark One: What if someone already shouted it? Can I attack them?
Gash: NO! You're not getting the plan, are you? You need to stand in front of them and shout at them. That'll defeat them!
Squunch: But I thought I heard that these heroes killed our leader --
Assembled Dark Ones: Rakanishu!
Squunch: -- like two levels ago.
Gash: Quiet, infidel! We'll have none of that talk! Now, Grunt, do you have that magical glaive I gave you?
Grunt: Yeah. Can't you see I'm carrying it? It's like twice as tall as I am. But, tha thing is boss, I don't know how to use it.
Gash: No worry. We'll attack with clubs, like always. But boy will they wonder why you've got a polearm when they're looting your corpse! Heh heh!
Grunt: Waitaminute!
Gash: Shush! I think I hear them approaching... Everyone, into positions... That's right, mill about aimlessly... We'll really confuse them now!
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