September 6th, 2007

Colbert: Eyebrow Thing

Uncommon Knowledge

  • First, according to a recent poll, we've determined that the big iPhone price cut is due to the fact that Steve Jobs is controlled by giant space weasels.1 Or possibly Apple was just looking to make some extra bucks off the early adopters.

  • CNN posted the results of a dramatic sociological study: "Men want hot women". Yes, men judge on looks. Tell me, did you have to pay for this study? Was it more than five dollars?

  • twigmouse will be interested to learn that you can fix a 757 via animal sacrifice. Granted, it's probably easier to fit the wire cutters and pliers in a toolbox than a goat. Still, nice to know about caprine, deistic alternatives just in case you really get stuck on a repair job.

  • You may naturally assume that these accident photos of a truck skidding off a highway and stopping one foot from a yawning precipice have been photoshopped. But, unlike most of these cases, the police are confirming it. That driver really was very lucky.

  • The Reg has helpfully developed a complete subset of unit systems to accompany their articles. We learn the formula for the velocity of sheep in a vacuum as well as the fact that the known universe is about the same size as 117,456,206 x 104925 grapefruits. Some units, such as Bill Gates' wealth in dollar bills, can freely convert between volume (1 Bill = 2 million olympic pools) and length (1 picoBill = 2 meters).

1 Alternatively, this poll demonstrates that options involving the word "weasel" continue to be irresistible.