October 19th, 2007

Colbert: Eyebrow Thing

Mixed News

The Grim

  • Robotic AA Cannon Kills 9 -- At a weapons drill in South African, an automated anti-aircraft cannon malfunctioned. It turned and fired along a line of other gun emplacements, killing 9 and wounding 14 (almost everyone on the range). No explanation for this malfunction as of yet. Remember: think before you automate.
  • Killer of Curious George Co-Author Gets Life -- It was a brutal robbery-killing involving stabbing and beating the author in his home. One assailant has plead guilty and received life imprisonment. His partner is scheduled for trial next year.


The Grin

  • Pantsless Man Claims Leprechauns Did It -- Circumstantial evidence indicates that a Cincinnati man broke into a car, where he was found napping without any pants. But he says that it was a kindly leprechaun, conveniently unavailable for questioning, which let him into the vehicle.
  • Colbert for President? -- Because of my icon, it's almost compulsory that I mention Steven Colbert's entry into the presidential race.
  • I HAS LOLCODE -- U CAN PROGRM IN LOLCODE. YA RLY!


The Gray

  • UK Intelligence Recruiting via Video Game -- Who's your target demographic when looking for young people to join the intelligence services? How about people who spend lots of time playing Splinter Cell? It makes sense, kinda. I suppose it's about as accurate a representation of intel work as our Army TV commercial are of troop life.
  • Man Steals Puppy Using His Pants -- A man stuffed a pug down his pants in order to steal it from a pet shop. They still haven't caught him. Personally, I kinda suspect that if he's willing to cram a puppy into his pants and steal it, he won't be providing an ideal and loving home for a pet.