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Goldfish at Night [Sep. 27th, 2009|09:42 am]
It was almost pitch black in the bedroom when the horrified cry of, "Goldfish!" erupted next to my head. Timothy had moved into our bed sometime during the night as he was having trouble sleeping. Now he was evidently again having trouble staying asleep.

"No goldfish!" Twitching, unable to see what was going on in a tangle of sheets and darkness, I sensed that some sort of rebuttal was required. I managed something between a gurgle and a poorly-articulated mumble.

Kit was more successful. "Goldfish?" This was met by the shrieked rejoinder, "No more goldfish! No goldfish downstairs."

"Were you having a bad dream?" elicited the sullen response, "No goldfish downstairs."

"Yes, there are no goldfish downstairs," I said, carefully recapitulating the established facts.

Mommy, thinking quite swiftly for someone jolted awake at 4:15, asked, "Are you hungry?"

Everyone in the room held their breath. Even the dog held her breath. If nothing else, it was nice to get silence back for a moment. At last, there was a quiet, "...'kay."

Having identified the issue, we sprang into action. By that, I mean I tried to stand up and stumbled into the bedroom wall as I hunted for the door. It had evidently moved a couple feet to the right sometime during the night as a security precaution and it took me several attempts to find it.

My departing call of, "I shall fetch you some goldfish crackers, my lad," was somewhat diminished by the fact that the muscles responsible for running my mouth were still asleep and I'd possibly just given myself a concussion on the wall. I think the word "goldfish" was intelligible.

"But no goldfish downstairs," Timothy said, circling back to his original tenet. "They upstairs."

I left Kit to explain that goldfish could cross the boundary between floors while I went to the kitchen, journeying across the creakiest of all floors. But that's another tale.

I managed to bumble back downstairs with a tupperware container holding a handful of goldfish. Kit sat up with Timothy while he munched and then, slowly, with several false attempts, fell back asleep. We eventually fell back asleep and are vaguely coherent this morning. But if we react to goldfish crackers as if we have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, perhaps you'll understand why.

[User Picture]From: thump
2009-09-27 05:29 pm (UTC)
Supernerds require a steady diet of Goldfish!
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[User Picture]From: kit_ping
2009-09-27 05:53 pm (UTC)
They also require SLEEP but that's been a harder concept to come to terms with! :)
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[User Picture]From: thump
2009-09-27 07:56 pm (UTC)
Bah! Super nerds don't sleep!

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[User Picture]From: donkeyears
2009-09-27 07:00 pm (UTC)
I can see why you wanted to have a kid. With all of the hours of the night going unused you have such a wonderful bundle of joy to help you not wast the night sleeping. Not only that but you also found out that your house is conspiring to move with out your knowledge.
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[User Picture]From: shalora
2009-09-27 08:07 pm (UTC)

At least when my babies get loud at night, I can kick them out of the bed. Since they are cats.

However, thank you for the delightful rendering - there was much LOLing in my house. Which I think startled the cats. ;)

And yes, doors do indisputably move at night. I am glad that I am not the only person who has noticed this security precaution.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2009-09-27 10:59 pm (UTC)
You have to have a sense of humor to survive being a parent. :)
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[User Picture]From: pippinbear
2009-09-28 11:08 am (UTC)
Oh, but... No, hang on... It's... Hmm.

Oooooh, I see, your house is upside down! Bedroom downstairs, kitchen upstairs? *reread* Ah, okay, now it makes a little more sense ;)
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2009-10-02 03:02 am (UTC)
Yep. Our house is oddly assembled.

In fact, the lower half was built around '83 and the upper half in the mid 50's!

(Really. The upper half was relocated and stacked on top of a brand new lower level.)
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[User Picture]From: pippinbear
2009-10-02 02:54 pm (UTC)
You americans and your topsy-turvy houses! Hehehee! *sigh*
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[User Picture]From: traveller_blues
2009-09-29 05:43 pm (UTC)

Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes...

I like to lie, sleepless (not comatose)
With a dread / Angler loose
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes..
...fun, fun, fun, nightmare run, run, run...

(to the tune of the Red Dwarf theme song)

You do realize, that this is definitely fodder for a NaNoWrimo this year.

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[User Picture]From: pippinbear
2009-10-02 02:53 pm (UTC)

Re: Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes...


I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice.
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

Full words here! http://www.ladyofthecake.com/reddwarf/html/theme_song.html

(Although they say "along" in the second line where it should be "alone", and I'm sure the last two verses aren't in the version used on the actual programme credits - I've never heard them before.)
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