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Nicodemus

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No Questions Asked [Feb. 19th, 2012|08:54 pm]
Nicodemus
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When you live with a four year old (excuse me, almost-five-year-old), you learn that certain questions simply do not need to be asked.

Questions like "who put this green sock in the doorknob guard?" or even "WHY is this sock in the doorknob?".

You don't bother asking because the answers are "Timothy" and "I don't know."

So you learn to just skip straight to the ludicrous-sounding pronouncement "Timothy, please don't stuff your socks into the doorknob." In case you wondered what being a parent is like, it turns out a lot of it is saying sentences you never would've even dreamed of needing to say.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: harvardheinous
2012-02-20 05:54 am (UTC)
I didn't even know there was such a thing as a doorknob guard.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2012-02-20 06:35 am (UTC)
Another parent thing.. It prevents toddlers and young kids from being able to turn the knob. You can see the exposed hole on the side? There's one on the opposite side too and you have to get a finger through each to grip the knob.

Basically, childproof cap for doors. :)
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[User Picture]From: singingnettle
2012-02-20 08:48 am (UTC)
We have these...for our cats.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2012-02-20 07:00 pm (UTC)
That's both frightening and amazing! :)
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[User Picture]From: singingnettle
2012-02-20 07:57 pm (UTC)
One of them is a half-Bengal of what we think is not more than a few generations removed from a felid ancestor, since she looks and acts only marginally like a domestic cat. She has extra digits that she uses as functional thumbs (we have photos of her using them that way) and, judging by the children's educational toys she can manipulate and puzzles she can solve, is probably about as intelligent as six or seven year old child (although 'intelligent' is a loaded and fuzzy word). She's kind of scary. It's for her sake that I cleaned Toys R Us out of child-safety devices. It's a by-product of our alien cat that our house is safe for small children. :-P
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From: silvertaine
2012-02-20 07:16 am (UTC)
Well, if a square peg can't fit in a round hole... how about a squishy sock?

Makes perfect sense to me! XD
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[User Picture]From: pyrate_queen
2012-02-20 07:57 am (UTC)
It makes for a good story, if nothing else!
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From: avon_deer
2012-02-20 08:25 am (UTC)
I had no idea there were such things as doorknob guards. Thusly I just assumed it WAS some kind of sock holder.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2012-02-20 07:03 pm (UTC)
I was going to mock you for postulating such an odd product idea. Then I thought about all the products I've seen in the big box discount stores and on TV... and, yeah, they are that silly.

You may have a future inventing telemarketing products! (...sorry?)
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From: avon_deer
2012-02-21 10:59 am (UTC)
I have often regretted not founding JML. The guy who did makes a fortune selling rebadged tat from China :D

The JML Magic Carpet...it's like a carpet..but...not.
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[User Picture]From: singingnettle
2012-02-20 08:47 am (UTC)
Heck, I don't even have children and I find myself often saying things like that.
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[User Picture]From: kj_roo
2012-02-20 12:01 pm (UTC)
It needed to go there!

The doorknob was hungry.
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[User Picture]From: spikedpunch
2012-02-20 01:55 pm (UTC)
I remember a routine that Bill Cosby used to do where he explained that parents with only one child are not really parents since if anything is ever broken in the house, you automatically know who it was that did it.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2012-02-20 06:59 pm (UTC)
Yep. Well, we're working on that, but the second one is still just at the crawling stage so I eliminated her as a suspect. :)
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[User Picture]From: spikedpunch
2012-02-21 02:51 am (UTC)
Boy, she is barely walking and already has you fooled.
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[User Picture]From: chaoswolf
2012-02-20 06:08 pm (UTC)
Well, IMO, the 4 year old is deciding to get a jump start on his college dorm room experience with Trophies!

OTOH, it could just be that I watch too much CSI. At least they aren't condoms.
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[User Picture]From: orv
2012-02-20 06:42 pm (UTC)
Heh. In my dorm people used that as a signal to their roommate that they shouldn't enter because...amorous activities were going on inside.
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[User Picture]From: chaoswolf
2012-02-20 09:03 pm (UTC)
Not surprising, but it works well when combined with discussion that it's a signal first.
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[User Picture]From: sabercat
2012-02-20 07:36 pm (UTC)

We have the same one!

But alas, no socks. :)
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[User Picture]From: baccala_30
2012-02-20 08:27 pm (UTC)
Cute. :)
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[User Picture]From: tilt_longtail
2012-02-21 01:30 am (UTC)
Oh man I cannot wait till the next time I am at the same con as you. >:)
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[User Picture]From: thump
2012-02-21 01:44 am (UTC)
*laughs* Totally not where I thought that post was going...

I am a bad person, but boy can I entertain myself :P
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