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Nicodemus

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Riggs Rule of Favorable Flavors [Feb. 13th, 2004|12:43 pm]
Nicodemus
[Current Mood |mislabeled]

I've long been suspicious of the flavorings in manufactured foods. Usually it's the ones that try to flavor themselves as something unusual that are the most repulsive. (Don't even get me started on turkey sodas.) This has lead me to suggest

The Riggs Rule of Favorable Flavors:
The palatability of a product's flavor is based on whether the labeling adjectives used describe a natural taste versus another prepared food or dish.


For example, if you find cereal labelled as "cinnamon" flavor, it's probably okay. Cereal with a "cinnamon toast" flavor has named another food that it's trying to immitate and is thus more likely to be undesirable. If they get vague enough to say "french toast", it's probably inedible. The more of these adjectives they stack on, the more cautious you should be.

Toaster pastries are another good example. "Strawberry" or even "berry" is likely better than "strawberry jam". That extra word is their marketing department saying "Well, it doesn't quite taste right for strawberries..." And if you see something that isn't an identifiable food term, like "Spaztacular Berry!", just put the box down and back away slowly.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: yippee
2004-02-13 09:35 pm (UTC)

A posting in poor taste

I would mention something about the second derivative of an arithmetic equation is zero, but I'd have to specify it was a first order polynomial and then it'd get all math-queasy.

i.e. the product that is a derivative of a dish which is a derivative of its component ingredients.

there are some flavors which are, well, they taste like ... the stock flavor. Like Grape soda. I don't recall grapes tasting like that. Great observation though!
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2004-02-13 10:27 pm (UTC)

Re: A posting in poor taste

Yeah, that's the general idea. (I was trying to avoid math jargon.) The more derivative their description, the less enjoyable the flavor.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2004-02-14 12:20 am (UTC)

Re: A posting in poor taste

Like the icon. :)
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[User Picture]From: kinkyturtle
2004-02-14 05:01 am (UTC)

Re: A posting in poor taste

...so anyway as I was saying about artificial banana... hmm, what?
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2004-02-13 10:29 pm (UTC)

Re:

The example was purely fictitious but, given the market, I figured it'd be realistic. I guess it was! I haven't seen these and, honestly, don't think I need to.
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[User Picture]From: bluerain
2004-02-13 09:44 pm (UTC)
Eric Schlosser's "Fast Food Nation: The Dark side of the All-American Meal" has a very interesting chapter on artificial flavors. Actually, I think everyone should read that book.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2004-02-13 10:30 pm (UTC)

Re:

I've read parts of that book. Very interesting stuff, indeed. I don't recall the chapter on flavorings, though, so I don't think I read that bit. (Does he say that the average person doesn't really know what natural flavors taste like?)
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[User Picture]From: bluerain
2004-02-13 11:00 pm (UTC)
He says that the distinction between "natural flavors" and "artificial flavors" is often very academic, since both are manufactured in the very same factories by the very same companies.
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[User Picture]From: waterotter
2004-02-14 12:29 am (UTC)

Re:

From what I've seen, artificial flavors are slightly more strictly regulated for health standards.
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[User Picture]From: stormbadger
2004-02-13 11:31 pm (UTC)
The one I laugh about oi.. can't remember the brand of potato chip but it comes in like coney island hotdog with mustard flavor.. People I guess just want newer flavors.. but the newer ones ALWAYS taste manufacturer.. bleck!
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[User Picture]From: dour
2004-02-14 12:10 am (UTC)
I think what you need is a Fossilized Antacid-flavored BitterSweet. Here!


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[User Picture]From: musecalliopeia
2004-02-23 02:21 am (UTC)
Turkey soda?!?!?!? *looks over at her cola, which a minute ago was refreshingly sweetly caffinated tasting, and feels slightly ill*

You know that I love you, Nic, but sometimes, I find myself wondering why I do. ;) Especially when you come up with stuff like that. ;)

But you're absolutely right. Oddly enough, however, someone mentioned grape soda - and while they're right, grapes don't taste like grape soda, I've had grape juice (100% juice, no artificial colors or flavors) that taste surprisingly similar to grape soda. *shrugs*

And artificial banana flavor is just vile.
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[User Picture]From: nicodemusrat
2004-02-25 11:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, but I didn't make up turkey soda... :P
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