|Quote from my Headphones
||[Feb. 3rd, 2005|02:52 pm]
If you look at the soil around any large U.S. city
with a big underground homosexual population
- Des Moines, Iowa, for example.
Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart!
You can't build on it,
you can't grow anything in it.
The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on
I know it's the queers!
They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians!"
- Stuart by The Dead Milkmen
"Are they in my eggs?"
"They're in everyone's eggs, dear."
The Firesign Theatre, Everything You Know Is Wrong
Thats awesome Have you seen the homosexual agenda?
2005-02-03 04:57 pm (UTC)
Now Earl's got a wife, and we call her "Wife." We don't know her name, because she's never really said that much. For the longest time we thought she could only say two words, which were "dog" and "pussy." We thought that meant dog and cat, but then we found out what she was really trying to say was "dog-pussy," one big hyphenated word. Which doesn't come up much in conversation, especially amongst Baptists.
It was during my second senior year when Mom found Jesus Christ. His spirit was trapped inside an old Manischewitz bottle she picked out of the dumpster behind the 7-11. Mom brought the bottle inside and set it down on top of the TV. Then she told all us kids to gather 'round, Then she explained how Jesus lived in the bottle, and if she wanted to, she could call him out to do her bidding. Sis said that reminded her of an old TV show. My mom slapped her and called her a heretic. I didn't say anything, because I can still remember that time outside the Safeway, when it took four security guards to hold Mom down.
I saw The Dead Milkmen live at the Cotati Cabaret way way back in the early 90's, soon after "Bucky Fellini" came out. I've still got their first three albums on vinyl. I am so old....
I've found many things in a dumpster... But I've yet to find jesus in one. I guess i have to go down south for that.
EVERYBODY knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway???